To be free of my doubts would be the most liberating feeling in the world. I hold myself back too much. I don’t dance, I don’t sing, I don’t do or say what I want because I fear others views of me. I doubt in my ability to dance freely, I fear I’ll be too awkward and make everyone else uncomfortable, so I just don’t dance. I don’t sing for the same reasons.
I care far too much about others perspectives and I just want to say FUCK THAT. It has held me back from enjoying my potentially bomb ass life! Fuck. That.
But to completely let go? Just get up and dance when I want next time I’m with friends? Even though I know I’m not very good and might look goofy as anything? HELL YES. I need to do that in my life. Even so, the thought of it sends a shock of fear through my body. How can I, purpleangel (Heather), whatever I want to go by, do that? How do I just let go? How do I not care about the looks and snickers? I’m not sure yet, but maybe it’s a practice until perfect thing. I just have to try and mess up sometimes and be anxious, but accept that whatever happens, however embarrassing, it’s nothing to fear. It won’t put my life in actual danger. I’ll survive and move forward.
I’m going to try to escape the security of doubt and let my true self shine. 🙂